in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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