You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
