Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
