new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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