I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
