I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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