so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
