I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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