If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
