He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
