Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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