Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
