YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
