the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
