had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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