Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
