What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I love you. Go after that dick
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
