Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
