even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
