I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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