discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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