How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize