He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
everyone is single if you try hard enough
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
