My nipple is on Facebook.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
