also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
