Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
