I'm really into asian looking animals
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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