Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
