my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
