I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
