hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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