You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need a beard to bite.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
