she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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