marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
