Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
