he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
