Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
