hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
