so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
