sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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