Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
