yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Quick, to the slutcave!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
