Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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