Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
