whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
