I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
