Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
