did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
