i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
