Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
