how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
