So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
