it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
