Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
