now i know why i became what i already was.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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