Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
