I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
