i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize