If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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