White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
where are my pants?
in the oven.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
