where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
