I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize