then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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