uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
