I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
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Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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