I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
